We may think we have all the time in the world to tell the people we love, everything that we want to share with them.
Have you ever been to a funeral and heard the stories being told – of course you have, they’ve become an important part of the ritual that allows us to say good bye and to do so in a supportive way.
But if you think about it, those stories are for us – the ones our loved ones have left behind, and a tangible reminder of who and what we have lost in their passing.
We may of course have shared some of these same stories with our loved ones, but I would also hazard a guess that in most cases, we probably didn’t say everything we really wanted to say to them before they died.
Part of that problem of course is a simple one – we think we have all the time in the world to say our goodbyes and the reasons why we love them like we do. The stories that begin with
Hey do you remember when …
And because we think we have all the time in the world, we tell ourselves that we’ll get round to it another day, another time and those things never get said.
As much as we don’t like to talk about it, we all know we will come up against our own personal deadlines (apologies for the pun) at some point. If we are diagnosed with something we don’t ever want to hear then we do have a slightly better idea of the when and can perhaps plan a little better than we could if we were to keel over suddenly.
Like I said, we don’t want to have THOSE kinds of conversations so we don’t have them, and perhaps hope that we can beat the odds. BUT!
Have you ever read Mitch Albom’s book “Tuesday’s with Morrie”? If you haven’t I do suggest you have a read, because Morrie Schwarz decided, after being diagnosed with the something and knowing his end was coming, that he wanted to be around for the speeches and the eulogies. So the family arranged it – Morrie was able to share those stories, the memories and could add his own stories and memories to the event as well. While there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, the event was a happy and yes memorable one.
Now you may not want to organise your own pre-funeral eulogy session, nor attend one – but there are some simple things you can do.
Call your loved ones on a regular basis and sign off with love and kisses. Write letters, send postcards, visit, share stories, have a hug or two and endless cups of tea – just in case.
And when the unthinkable does happen, we will have even more memories to share.